


Your tears

by EllieVille



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 12:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20242987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieVille/pseuds/EllieVille
Summary: "Why are you crying?" He asks Chinen with a cracked voice."Ryosuke is sad. So I'm sad as well."





	Your tears

Yamada hides in the space between the studio wall and the set. He curls up hugging his knees to his chest as he tries to hold back any sounds. Tears run down his cheeks. He knew he was in the wrong. He shouldn't have messed up his lines. He should have studied them more properly. If he had done so he wouldn't have been scolded like that. He wouldn't have been treated so coldly and brushed off like a-  
Like a child.

He rests his head on his knees trying to control the sobs that rock his figure. When suddenly he feels someones crounching down beside him. He whips his head up in surprise and quickly tries to wipe away the tears. He recognizes the person as Chinen. He looks at Chinen's face in confusion and surprise.  
Chinen's tear stricken face.  
"Why are you crying?" He asks Chinen with a cracked voice.  
"Ryosuke is sad. So I'm sad as well."  
All Yamada can do is stare at Chinen's sad face with teary eyes. He feels his arms wrap around Chinen.  
"It's okay" he manages to say before bursting into fresh tears.  
He feels Chinen pull him closer, his arms tight around his neck. It's such an awkward and uncomfortable position but Yamada can't help but feel at peace. As if his thoughts and worries were blown away. He closes his eyes and feels everything melt away. Everything except the warm and fuzzy feeling of having Chinen in his embrace. And he doesn't want to ever let go.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
A few years pass and he's having lunch with Arioka during their break in between photoshoots. It's just the two of them in the backstage room. They make small talk as they eat their store bought bento.  
"The other day I saw Chinen crying"

Yamada stops his chopsticks midair and frowns.

"Chinen?"  
"Yeah. Chinen. Isn't it rare for Chinen to cry. I tried to ask him about what happened but he wouldn't tell me why."  
"Hmm" Yamada tries to control his face.  
"But I don't think I've actually seen Chinen cry before. To be honest I was shocked."  
"I see." Yamada says flatly.  
After that the subject changes and they continue talking but now Yamada can't seem to pay attention to what Arioka talks about. He excuses himself to go to the toilet leaving his half eaten bento behind.  
Locking the bathroom stall door he slips down onto the bathroom floor, not caring about it's unhygenic state.  
He grabs a handful of hair in frustration not entirely sure as to what he's feeling.  
Is it anger? Sadness?  
Why Arioka? Why was it Arioka and not him? Why didn't Chinen come to him? Why didn't Chinen ask to be spoiled by him? Why everyone else but him? What made him cry? Why was he sad? Why?

Yamada stares up helplessly at the cieling and tries to control the tears.  
Tears that fill up his eyes before he can comprehend them. Tears that fall down his cheeks and he doesn't even know why he's crying.  
He stays there crying silent tears until it's time for him to return to the photoshoot.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
A few more years pass and Yamada's crying again. He tries to hold back tears and stares up at the blinding lights of the stage. Bites his lip to control that quiver. He can't believe he's this weak. Even though everyone feels the same as he does. Everyone's suffered through the same hardships as he had over the years. Everyone else was brave. They put on smiles for their fans, thanking them for all the support they had given them throughout the years. But hearing those words seem to put a weight on his chest. It's not painful at all. He's happy. He's the luckiest man in the world to be blessed with such amazing groupmates and such amazing fans. And all it takes is one look at them. One look, and all his efforts go to waste as he feels warm wet streams drip down his face.  
He manages a few words out before giving up and turning back to the staircase with the rest of the members. He waves at the fans knowing that no matter how much he waves, he still won't be able to convey his gratitude to them. The staircase rotates and he finds himself backstage. He turns around to grab a towel to wipe his tears only to come face to face with Chinen. A silently crying Chinen.  
"Why are you crying as well?" he asks with a small laugh.  
"Because Ryosuke is sad. And that makes me sad."  
Yamada looks into Chinen's eyes brimed with tears and finds himself relaxing.  
"It's alright. Don't cry. I'm not sad anymore. So please, don't cry." Yamada says wiping away tears from Chinen's face with his own hands.  
He cups Chinen's face and brings their foreheads together.  
It's alright. As long as Chinen is by his side and as long as he is by Chinen's side, everything will be alright.


End file.
